Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
