with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
