Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
