covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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