Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
