walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
