does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
