Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
