Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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