Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
