a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
