im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
