I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
