OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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