They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
