He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
