I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
