He told me they were just razor bumps!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
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