Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Porn is love you can see.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
