TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
