i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
