do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Two words: nipple clamps
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
