Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I died a long time ago.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
