just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
