I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
