As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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