My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
