so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
