I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
