She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we have pet lesbian snakes
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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