why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
