Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
