I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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