i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
