Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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