i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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