hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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