I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
