Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
