please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
