I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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