Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i out mim tonsoeep
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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