I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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