At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
