i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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