just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
