you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
