So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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