This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was like having sex with a tree stump
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
