he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
