So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
