"it" just moved
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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