their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
