Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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