just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize