I wish i was in the wii world.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
