if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
