Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
