I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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