I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize