There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
